Throughout his stint on this long-running Comedy Central series, Eric Cartman has helped turnSouth Parkinto one of the mosticonic adult animated sitcoms on television. Rude, vulgar, and incredibly spoiled, this foul-mouthed 5th grader has fought and swore his way to becoming one of the most beloved characters on the show, and its most quotable.
Voiced hilariously by series co-creatorTrey Parker, Cartman has no limits on how nasty and ill-tempered he can be.He’s often responsible for some of the most bizarre, shocking, and darkly hilarious lines in the show’s history. He took things to the extreme and said words that pushed the limits of what can and can’t be said on national television. Cartman has said some genuinely outrageous stuff duringSouth Park’s continued run, and so many of them have become classics. Here are ten of the most iconic lines Cartman has ever spoken.
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10"I made you eat your parents!"
“Scott Tenorman Must Die” - Season 5, Episode 4 (2001)
Coming from thedarkest episode inSouth Park’s history, “Scott Tenorman Must Die,” Cartman snaps after getting outsmarted too many times by a manipulative 9th grader, Scott Tenorman (Toby Morton) after the teen tricks him out of his money. At a chili festival, as Scott enjoys a nice bowl of chili, thinking he’s emerged the victor of their rivalry, Cartman unveils his shocking revenge scheme by revealing to Scott that his bowl contains parts of his recently deceased parents.
As the disturbing revelation sets in, Cartman childishly taunts, “Nya nya nya nya nyaaaa nya! I made you eat your parents!” and watches as Scott collapses in devastation.This quote is one of the most unexpectedly dark lines ever uttered by Cartman. It’s so disturbing but darkly hilarious, as it shows how terrifying and petulant he truly is. It comes from an episode that sparked a change in Cartman’s character forever, turning him into one of the best sitcom villains of all time.
9"Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want!"
“Freak Strike” - Season 6, Episode 3 (2002)
One thing that’s always apparent about Cartman’s personality is that there are no limits to how far he’ll go to have his way. In “Freak Strike,” Cartman dresses up as a promiscuous teenager to get on a segment of “The Maury Povich Show” to win a grand prize. As he competes with other girls who are “out of control,” he makes up many outrageous claims and then, afterward, shouts, “Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want!”
Cartman’s lines throughout the entirety of this episode are comedic gold. Whether he says, “I don’t go to school, and I kill people!” or “I ran for congress and won!” they are all incredibly hilarious and endlessly quotable. However,the cherry on top is his saying “Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want!” at the end of every sentence, which has since become one of Cartman’s most iconic catchphrases. Any diehard fan could instantly recognize the phrase, which has only become more iconic over the years.
8"We’re not just sure, we’re HIV-positive."
“Tonsil Trouble” - Season 12, Episode 1 (2008)
Kudos to Cartman for finding humor inthe darkest situations on the show. In “Tonsil Trouble,” after a botched tonsil operation leaves him infected with the HIV/AIDS virus, Cartman doesn’t take his new reality too well, especially since his arch-rival, Kyle (Matt Stone), can’t stop laughing at the news. When he intentionally infects Kyle with the same disease, the two bitter enemies are forced to work together to find a cure. Still, along the way, Cartman finds humor in their predicament by going out of his way to make HIV-related puns.
Cartman can’t help himself as he keeps making highly inappropriate and darkly comedic puns during their journey. Whether it’s to alleviate their situation or to annoy Kyle, his saying,“We’re not just sure, we’re HIV-postive,” is so monumentally hilarious and one of his best lines. Seeing Kyle’s angry expression every time Cartman utters it is pure comedic gold and gets more entertaining every time he says it.
7"Dear guys, words can not describe how much I hate you guys."
“The Red Badge of Gayness” - Season 3, Episode 14 (1999)
Cartman has been quite vocal about how much he despises his friends several times throughout the show. He often goes into furious tirades or meltdowns, usually whenever the other boys displease or defy him. In “The Red Badge of Gayness,” there is a prime example of his anger, featuring one ofthe worst things Cartman has ever done, as he reignites the Confederacy to start a new American Civil War so he can win a bet and turn Kyle and Stan into his slaves.
The whole episode shows the many absurd lengths Cartman will go to express his hatred. There’s even an iconic moment where Kyle and Stan receive a letter from Cartman, going by General Cartman Lee, expressing how much he hates the two and gloats about one day making them his slaves.His entire speech leaves audiences in stitches as he constantly states that he hates them. It’s a classic moment that perfectly sums up how mean and nasty Cartman truly is.
6"How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?"
‘South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut’ (1999)
Cartman is one of the most foul-mouthed characters on television. So, when the show triumphantly leaped onto the big screen with 1999’sSouth Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, he didn’t hesitate to unleash a multitude of epic swears. Outside the iconic musical numbers, there are plenty of memorable moments where Cartman and the other boys' foul language is on full display, resulting in many classic lines.
In the film’s memorable classroom scene, after the boys have seen the new raunchy Terrance and Phillip movie, Cartman and his pals have loud and obscene conversations that cause Mr. Garrison to become distracted and frustrated with them. As he threatens him with a trip to the principal’s office, Cartman confidently tells him over a megaphone, “How would you like to suck my balls, Mr. Garrison?” and leaves Garrison shocked and completely speechless. This incredibly hilarious and iconic insult is one of the film’s most defining moments.Only Cartman could have made the line iconic, delivering so much callousness and directness.
5"Student Ath-O-Letes? Oh, that is brilliant, suh!"
“Crack Baby Athletic Association” - Season 15, Episode 5 (2011)
In one ofSouth Park’s most controversial episodes, “Crack Baby Athletic Association,” Cartman sinks to a new low as he exploits drug-addicted infants as part of a bizarre sporting game. Wanting to expand his business, he goes to a university to “recruit” student players since most college athletes aren’t paid for their work. Cartman, ridiculously dressed up as an 18th-century plantation owner, barges into the dean’s office and gives an absurd speech, blatantly comparing student-athletes to the slave trade.
This whole scene is a brutal satire of the NCAA and other institutions not paying their players, and Cartman doesn’t hold back on poking fun at this issue since he genuinely can’t tell the difference between the two. When the dean calls his plays “student-athletes,” Cartman’s response, “Student ath-O-letes? Oh, that is brilliant, suh!” never fails to get a laugh from the audience.It’s so dark and incredibly hilarious, highlighting one of Cartman’s best moments from modern seasons.
“Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy” - Season 10, Episode 10 (2006)
Jumping at the opportunity to be in a position of “authoritah!” again, “Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy” sees Cartman becoming the school’s designated hallway monitor. But, in typical Cartman fashion, he immediately goes overboard with his duties, creating his now iconic “Dawg the Hallway Monitor” persona and cruising the halls, ensuring no one escapes his justice.
An obvious parody ofDuane “Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman, Cartman’s “Dawg” is a skilled master at keeping his hallways clean. With his trusty sunglasses, bear mace, and catchy “I am the Dawg, the big bad Dawg” theme song, he’ll ensure no hall infraction goes unpunished. Cartman has some of his most entertaining lines while acting as “Dawg the Hallway Monitor.“It’s a classic persona that sees him shine in the spotlight and never once fails to leave viewers in stitches.
3"I’m not fat, I’m festively plump.”
“Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo” - Season 1, Episode 9 (1997)
In theshow’s first-ever Christmas-themed episode, “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo”, the entire 4th-grade class is reciting a play detailing Jesus' birth. However, when Kyle’s mother arrives to excuse her son from performing in the play due to their Jewish beliefs, Cartman finds the opportunity to insult her, to which Kyle responds by calling him fat. In one of his most bizarre excuses ever, Cartman tells the others, “I’m not fat! I’m festively plump.”
Eric Cartman will make up anything to excuse his lazy, selfish behavior. While other times he’s said, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned,“his absurd Christmas-themed reason for being overweight has to be one of the funniest lines he’s ever said on the show. It’s so random and quotable that it guarantees a chuckle or two from viewers every time they hear it.
2"Screw you guys, I’m going home.”
“Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” - Season 1, Episode 1 (1997)
Few of Cartman’s other catchphrases on the show are as frequent or more iconic than “screw you guys, I’m going home.” Spoken whenever he gets frustrated about a situation or when things don’t usually go his way, Cartman utters this beloved line to signal that he’s done being around other people and would instead leave.
“Screw you guys, I’m going home” has become synonymous withSouth Park. It’s one of the first notable running jokes and has become popular and recognizable over the years. It’s said so many times at this point that even other characters besides Cartman have started saying it. It’s one of his most iconic lines and’ll be forever remembered long afterSouth Park’s run.
1"Respect my authoritah!”
“Chickenlover” - Season 2, Episode 3 (1998)
Finally, was there ever any doubt “Respect my authoritah!” wouldn’t be number one? Coming from one ofSouth Park’s best episodes, “Chickenlover,” this classic catchphrase is uttered by Cartman for the first time when he becomes the town’s newest tyrannical police deputy after Officer Barbra resigns. Since then, he often reuses or rephrases the line, usually whenever he comes into power or needs to assert his dominance.
It doesn’t get more iconic than “Respect my authoritah!” –the phrase that turned Eric Cartman into a household name and one of the show’s most legendary characters. It perfectly sums up everything great about Cartman, and it’s so memorable and hilarious that even those unfamiliar with the show instantly recognize it.
