Friendswas a particularly funny and memorable sitcom due to its interesting and lovable characters. The characters really made the show what it was, turning the hangout comedy into a true classic. They all had distinct personalities, hilarious moments, and memorable quotes.
One of those characters wasJennifer Aniston’s Rachel Green, the spoiled socialite who became a fan favorite. After leaving her fiancé at the altar and becoming financially independent, Rachel developed a close relationship with the other friends, and built a career for herself. In that time,she had some great moments and spoke some very iconic quotes. These are the 10 best Rachel Green quotes, ranked.
10"It’s like all my life everyone’s told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!’ Well, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat?"
Season 1, Episode 1 (1994)
Thepilot episode ofFriendshad a truly iconic character introduction of Rachel Green. As the rest of the friend group were sitting and talking in Central Perk, Rachel suddenly appeared in a wedding dress. It was revealed that after distancing herself from Monica for high society, Rachel eventually snapped and left her fiancé at the altar. With nowhere to go, she sought out Monica.
In the pilot, Rachel was dealing with a massive life change. While talking to her father on the phone about why she left Barry, Rachel said, “It’s like all my life everyone’s told me, ‘You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe! Well, what if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat?” The metaphor is funny, butthis quote also reveals why Rachel upended her entire life, and how she felt like she never fit.
9"Everyone I know is either getting married, or getting pregnant, or getting promoted, and I’m getting coffee! And it’s not even for me!"
Season 1, Episode 4 (1994)
When Rachel gave up her old life to become financially independent, it was a huge adjustment for her. Throughout Season 1, Rachel was living as an adult for the first time, working at the coffee house and living with Monica. This led to Rachel really questioning her own path in Season 1, episode 4, “The One with George Stephanopoulous.” After running into some old friends, Rachel was having doubts about her life choices.
When voicing her doubts, “Everyone I know is either getting married, or getting pregnant, or getting promoted, and I’m getting coffee! And it’s not even for me!“This quote is both funny and sad, but mostly it is extremely relatable. Rachel felt like she was falling behind the people who used to be her peers, which made her feel insecure, so she voiced it to her friends.
Season 9, Episode 8 (2002)
In thelater seasons ofFriends,Rachel lost her naïveté and became, in some ways, more cynical and jaded. This led to some very funny moments, such as when her sisters came to visit. In Season 9, episode 8, “The One with Rachel’s Other Sister,” Rachel had to deal with a last-minute visit from her youngest sister, Amy. Rachel was not happy to see her.
Amy tried to convince Rachel that she was doing well in her life now, but Rachel was skeptical. After Amy announced that she was now a decorator, Rachel fired back, “You decorate Dad’s office and you’re now a decorator? Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday; now I’m a koala bear.” This is a very funny line in and of itself, but also becauseit shows off Rachel’s occasional sarcasm in the later seasons.
7"It bothered me when he slept with other people.”
Season 5, Episode 19 (1999)
Ross and Rachel’s breakup in Season 3 was a very important shift for the show, bringing a new level of tension to the friend group. This breakup changed Rachel as a character and her role on the show. As a result, Rachel had a more cynical perspective, as well as funnier one-liners, in the later seasons. The actual breakup was very heartbreaking.
In later seasons, though, with some distance, Rachel was able to joke about it and give Ross grief for cheating on her. In Season 5, episode 19, “The One where Ross Can’t Flirt,” Chandler was worried about Monica flirting with other guys. When Chandler asked Rachel if it had bothered her when Ross slept with other people while they were dating, she cleverly answered, “It bothered me when he slept with other people.”
6"Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?”
Season 2, Episode 1 (1995)
In Season 2, Rachel was dismayed when Ross came back from China with a new girlfriend, right as she started to realize her feelings for him. This led to some very funny moments, as Rachel became very sarcastic due to her jealousy. AfterRoss had been pining for Rachelfor all of Season 1, it was a nice twist to see Rachel now pining after Ross.
While meeting Julie and hearing the story of her and Ross’s relationship, Rachel struggled to pretend like nothing was wrong. In a show of false enthusiasm, Rachel said, “Isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?“It was a very funny line, due to Rachel’s particularly violent way of showing support from Ross and Julie, and how she could not fake being happy for them.
5"We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.”
Season 7, Episode 11 (2001)
Friendswas at its best when it paired up characters with less one-on-one time together, for funny subplots. Rachel and Chandler were one of the more rare pairings in the group, as they did not have many plot lines with just the two of them. However, they had an absolutely hilarious storyline together in Season 7, episode 11, “The One with All the Cheesecakes.”
When a neighbor’s cheesecake accidentally got delivered to his apartment, Chandler could not help but try it and roped Rachel into it as well. This led to the two of them continuing to steal these cheesecakes because they just could not help themselves. In a moment of guilt, Rachel said to Chandler, “We are dessert stealers. We are living outside the law.”
4"I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle!”
Season 6, Episode 9 (1999)
Friendsreally knew how to do holiday episodes well, from Halloween to Christmas. However, there was noholiday that the showdid better than Thanksgiving. Its Thanksgiving episodes were absolutely hilarious, and one of those standouts was Season 6, episode 9, “The One where Ross Got High.“With Ross and Monica’s parents visiting for the holiday, there was a lot of chaos.
Rachel was never much of a cook or baker, but she was very excited to make the dessert for this Thanksgiving. She worked very hard on her trifle, but she did not realize that two of the pages in her cookbook were stuck together. This led to Rachel making a trifle with ingredients such as bananas, cream, and beef sautéed with peas and onions. When Rachel realized her mistake, she shouted, “I wasn’t supposed to put beef in the trifle!”
3"Oh, I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife?”
Season 2, Episode 2 (1995)
Monica and Rachel’s friendship was one of thecore pairings inFriends. After Rachel dropped Monica for a while, it was beautiful to see them reconnect when Rachel left Barry at the altar and ran to Monica for help. They usually got along for the most part, with occasional bickering. However, they got into a huge fight in Season 2, episode 2, “The One with the Breast Milk.”
Rachel was very jealous of Ross’ relationship with Julie, she felt especially betrayed when Monica befriended Julie, especially after she found out that they had gone shopping together. When Rachel’s feelings of hurt and betrayal upset Monica, Rachel hilariously said, “Oh, I’m sorry, did my back hurt your knife?“It was a funny spin on a common phrase, and a clever way to show Rachel’s hurt.
2"Well, then I guess that’s the difference between us: see, I’d never make a list.”
Season 2, Episode 8 (1995)
Ross and Rachel’s relationship was a true will-they-won’t-they, with fans rooting for them for quite a while before they actually got together. When Rachel got drunk and confessed her feelings to Ross over voicemail, they kissed, and then he left Julie for her. It looked like they would get together, but the whole thing immediately fell apart when Rachel discovered Ross’s list comparing her and Julie.
Rachel was very angry and heartbroken to discover the list of cons. As she explained to Ross, he listed out all of her insecurities and then used them as reasons not to be with her. Ross argued that there was nothing that Rachel could put on a list that would make him not want to be with her. To that, Rachel devastatingly responded, “Well, then I guess that’s the difference between us: see, I’d never make a list.”
1"None of the amazing things that happened to me in the last 10 years would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you.”
Season 10, Episode 16 (2004)
Rachel’s will-they-won’t-they relationship with Rosswas certainly popular, but her most important relationship in the group was with Monica. When Rachel showed up in the pilot episode ofFriends, she and Monica had not been friends for quite some time after she had ditched her. However, Monica forgave her former best friend and let her live with her.
Rachel and Monica’s friendship was always very special, even after they stopped living together. When Rachel was preparing to move to Paris towards the end of Season 10, she and Monica shared a heartfelt goodbye. Rachel told Monica, “None of the amazing things that happened to me in the last 10 years would’ve happened if it wasn’t for you.“It was a beautiful moment where Rachel showed appreciation for her best friend, and fans could see how far Rachel had come.
