Ghosting is a controversial move in the dating world. It’s when a person stops communicating unannounced, which could leave the other person confused. Ideally, everyone communicates if they’re no longer interested to give closure, and people can move on to other suitors. But some would argue that not everyone is owed closure.
Every season we watch singles enter theLove Is Blindexperiment ready to possibly get engaged to someone without seeing them first. The process takes away a lot of problems with current-day dating. You can’t immediately swipe people away because of their appearance. For better and for worse, you have to get to know someone first.Reality TVdating also removes the ghosting problem because people are contracted to stay and film in a specific location. However, in season 5 we get our first case of ghosting…and we’re not mad at the person who disappears.
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The ‘Love Is Blind’ Season 5 Experiment Goes Wrong
Season 5 showedUche Okoroha,a 33-year-old lawyer, andAaliyah,a 28-year-old ICU nurse hit it off in the pods. Uche told her he’s “straight-forward” and Aaliyah said she liked that. They bonded over their interest in poetry, entrepreneurship, and more. They also had the same perspective that honesty is important to relationships. Aaliyah came clean to him that she cheated on an ex-boyfriend and never told him about it two years ago. This was a red flag to Uche, but he appreciated Aaliyah telling him and apologized for judging her.
We don’t find out until episode 3 that Uche had a secret of his own: he found out his ex,Lydia, was in the experiment on the first day. Lydia became Aaliyah’s closest friend and confidant during her lowest points with Uche. Lydia asked Uche if they could start over and date in the pods on the first day, but he rejected her.
“I don’t think it’s like, genuine from the experience because we already know what each other looks like,” Uche told her. Lydia asked him how he’d feel if she got engaged to someone else, and he answered he didn’t know. Uche and Lydia seemingly agreed not to tell anyone they knew each other to keep their identities hidden from other contestants. Aaliyah was rightfully shocked by this information.
“She’s been telling me multiple times, like, ‘I just see myself in you,” Aaliyah explained to Uche. “We are almost the same woman.” It’s very much givingSingle, White, Female,a movie where one woman is deceiving the other because she wants what the other one has…and in these thrillers, it’s a man. Aaliyah gave Lydia a chance to be a better friend. But the boundaries have already been blurred. Lydia was quick to spill all the details about Uche to Aaliyah because she was relieved the truth was out. She even told her they had sex just three months ago. Aaliyah left the pods without warning Uche at the end of episode 4. Producers broke the news to him.
Ghosting Helps Avoid More Manipulation
Being honest and communicating problems while dating is important. Once a person breaks trust, learning the way a person avoids accountability via manipulation can save a lot of time and hurt. Uche has proven he can keep his cards close to his chest until it best suits him. The lawyer waited for when he felt like Aaliyah had strong feelings for him to tell her the truth. He could’ve easily told her when she shared her dirty laundry of cheating in the past.
“But I trust you with my heart,” Aaliyah told Uche right before he came clean in episode 4. “I know that you’ll at least be honest and straightforward with me, no matter what. That at least gives me peace knowing that.” Uche looked uncomfortable because he knew this wasn’t true.
Lydia also manipulated Aaliyah and continued to when the truth was out. Aaliyah honestly told Uche and Lydia separately that she didn’t want to be looking over her back to verify nothing was going on between them. Uche said there were no feelings for Lydia on his end since he ended their relationship. Lydia seems less truthful about her feelings for Uche.
“Honest, to God, like I’m not gonna lie to you, I think I’d fall for him,” Lydia told Aaliyah. She claimed she’d “never” sneak around with Uche and “what’s in the past is the past.” Lydia doesn’t tell her that she was open to dating Uche in the pods, which was not long ago. Lydia didn’t listen to Aaliyah’s desire of not wanting to know things about Uche. She overloaded her with information about his dog, friends, and more. Once someone doesn’t listen to you, then trying to communicate is useless.
“I would never put myself in a situation like this in my actual life,” Aaliyah said in a private interview. She tried to communicate her fears with Uche after talking to Lydia. He was frustrated that Lydia claimed he was open to starting over with her in the pods. “You don’t think this is hard for me?” Uche coldly asked Aliyah. “I mean it’s happening to me just as much or even more than it’s happening to you.” So we see Uche trying to manipulate himself into the victim in this conversation. Luckily, Aaliyah saw through this.
Viewers know this won’t be the end of Aaliyah and Uche on their screens. The season started with Uche seemingly confronting her for ghosting. “When you love somebody, you don’t just leave without telling them anything,” Uche said in episode one. “I have no idea why you left me here alone. You let some girl come in between us ‘cause of something she said? After everything that we’ve been through?” We see Uche and Aaliyah out of the pods in the open montage.
Uche clearly knows why Aaliyah left. This isn’t one of those cases of ghosting where there was no sign of the other person’s unhappiness. And his possibly putting it all on Lydia for causing their fracture shows Aaliyah is right for running for the hills. Aaliyah listened to all her internal signs telling her to save herself from the stress and go. It’s a common refrain that if you really love someone you stay to work things out. That seems to be what Uche is going for in this voiceover. But true love isn’t so hard and doesn’t force you to ignore your instinct that something isn’t right.
