Welcome back toTheCollider Pop Culture Review, in which Collider’s weekend editor Vinnie Mancuso wakes up only slightly hungover on a Saturday to rate the week’s biggest stories in film and television on a scale from 1 to 10. (1 is soul-crushingly bad, 10 is mind-blowingly incredible.) This week: Matt Reeves’The Batmanwill reportedly begin filming in November with no word yet on who is under the mask, Netflix revealedThe Punisherseason 2’s premiere date with a dark trailer,Aquamanis officially the highest-grossing movie in the DCEU, and Todd McFarlane would like you to know well in advance that you will not enjoy hisSpawnmovie.
‘The Batman’ Will Reportedly Start Production in November 2019
Rating: 7, or “I suppose you’ll take up flying next, like that fellow in Metropolis.”
Matt Reeves, more than a year removed from dead-ass making me weep real human tears in public over a CGI monkey, has been on quite the journey to getThe Batmanup on the big screen. Back when the project was first announced in 2015, Reeves wasn’t even in the picture;Ben Affleckhimself was set to star, write the screenplay, and direct, which low-key meant that at several points throughout production Ben Affleck was going to have to tell a cinematographer where to place a camera while also wearing hilariously stubby bat ears. Long story short, this fell through for reasons both personal and professional. Affleck went off to commission an actual cave-dwelling bat to give him a back tattoo, and Reeves hopped aboard as producer and director in 2017. Assumedly because it’s confusing that Bruce Wayne would give a three-page monologue about how fun the Samuel Adams Brewery tour is, theWar for the Planet of the Apesfilmmaker later announced the script, too, would be revised, and production was pushed back yet again to give Reeves the chance to churn out his “noir-driven”, Hitchcock-inspiredoriginal story.
Well, it’s 2019, the most popular DC movieeverfeatures a Lovecraft monster voiced by the OG Mary Poppins, not a single person on this Earth knows if Ben Affleck is still down to play the Dark Knight anymore, and yet,and yet,The Batmanwillreportedly start productionin November. Which means, fingers, crossed, sometime between now and then Warner Bros. will announce just who exactly will be donning the cape and cow. If it’s still Affleck! Fine! That’s fine. The movies he was in were largely two-and-a-half-hour sludge-dramas with the color palette of a Snack Pack pudding cup accidentally left out of the refrigerator, but Ben Affleck actually made for a killer Batman. No, that’s not a joke about how Ben Affleck’s Batman committed several murders in Batman vs. Superman. I was incredibly okay with that. You enter a career where a clown repeatedly breaks out of jail specifically to hit you in the dick with a comically oversized bowling ball pin and see how long you go without killing anyone.
If it’snotAffleck? Plenty of options! Many have saidJon Hamm, but that’s anextremelysafe choice and possibly a bit too seasoned-looking for Reeves' Bruce Wayne, who is reportedly on the younger side.Armie Hammeris like 8 feet tall and seemingly stole Jon Hamm’s exact voice through witchcraft.John Cenais the same height as Armie Hammer except sideways, what’s he doing? The best way to describeAdam Driver’s entire aesthetic is “he looks like someone who watched his parents die.” Get him on board! What aboutTrevante Rhodes? Lord knows he’s not going to be tied up in aPredatorsequel.
All I ask is from this film—which truthfully I still won’t believe is happening until Matt Reeves personally throws a DVD copy tied to a Batarang through my window—is that it has the world’s greatest detective do a little detective-ing. Asmidgeof deducing. If this dude dusts for fingerprints one time it will be the best Batman movie sinceThe Dark Knight. Somewhere betweenThe Dark Knight RisesandDawn of Justice, big-screen Batman’s defining trait became the fact that he’d set the Lunk Alarm off at Planet Fitness. There’s abrainunder that mask.
‘The Punisher’ Sets Season 2 Release Date with Trailer
Rating: 6, or “Pay no attention to the cancellations behind the curtain”
Imagine, if you will, you’re sitting in your favorite restaurant waiting for your meal to arrive when you get the news that the last three people to eat at that restaurant just straight up died. They were cancelled from life for seemingly no reason. The third person actually just had the best season at his jobever, and yet now he’s just dead. You’d probably be like, “Man, I don’t know if I’m even looking forward to this meal anymore.” Then the restaurant’s like, “No, no, this one is fine, here are some images of the food.” And you’re like, “That food does admittedly look kind of hype but I’m extremely concerned about those three other people who di—” and then the restaurant interrupts all like, “No, look, life will go on after this meal, everything is fine, Disney is not involved in this.”
That extremely specific scenario is how I feel about my excitement forThe Punisherseason 2, which will officially debut January 18th as revealed in anew teaser trailer. It looks great! IlovedThe Punisher’s first season, and the promise ofJon Bernthal’s stellar Frank Castle clashing again with a now-scarred-up Billy Russo (Ben Barnes) is electrifying. But Netflix’s small-screen MCU is pretty obviously in implosion mode; whenIron Fistwas cancelled it felt like, well, yeah, watchingFinn Jonesstruggling to raise his leg above toddler height had run its course. ThenLuke Cagewent, and it was like, well, weird move, but there had been pacing problems in the storytelling and maybe Netflix just lost money on that movie whereChris Pinehangs dong and needs to shuffle funds a little. And then Netflix came for its superhero crown jewel, precious babyDaredevil, just a few weeks after the original streaming Defender premiered its third season to overwhelming critical acclaim. In what is surely a coincidence, the only two shows in this particular universe still hanging around—The PunisherandJessica Jones—are the only two that have upcoming seasons already in the can.
So, yeah, getting hyped forThe Punisherright now feels a little like getting excited while in line for a rollercoaster that you’re99% sureends in a brick wall.
‘Aquaman’ Is King of the DCEU Box Office
Rating: 9, or “Permission to come abroad?”
One day, decades into the future, your horrifically radiation-mutated grandchild, Arthur, will ask when DC’s fortunes finally turned and you will tell them of a film, a film where an octopus plays the drums andJason Momoanever once stops looking directly into the camera. “That’s not how acting works,” the child may say, and you’ll shush him and play that viral video where Jason Momoa does the warrior dance on theAquamanpremiere red carpet. “That’s so endearing,” the child will say, finally understanding.
What I’m trying to say: holy shit,Aquamanismaking so much money. What a time to bealive. Aquaman.Aquaman. The one who talks to fish and wears the costume that’s like if a sturgeon decided it wanted to be lower on the food chain. That Aquaman, that character, has now grossed more worldwide thanWonder Woman,Justice League,Batman vs. Superman, andSuicide Squad.
Opinion on the movie is…split. Let’s say split. Personally, I loved it, but I walk out of all movies loudly explaining it needed more crab people doing battle withWillem Dafoeon a shark.Roma.First Reformed.Won’t You Be My Neighbor?Happensallthe time. I can recognizeAquaman’s flawless, namely that A) The script is flimsier than Amber Heard’s wig, and B) Somehow over 45 years of life and several notable horror films Patrick Wilson never learned to scream like a real human.
But it’s almost like there’s a lesson to be learned from the fact that Warner Bros.' two biggest superhero movies—AquamanandWonder Woman—are both maturely told stories that still come from a place of light and joy. Hopefully, Hollywood’s comic book filmmakers are taking note…
Todd McFarlane’s ‘Spawn’ Will Bring You No Joy
Rating: 3, or “Even the entire cast ofE.R.couldn’t put you back together again.”
Todd McFarlanehas been trying to get his vision forSpawn—a character he did, in fairness, create—on to the big screen for a long time now, most of which has been spent reassuring both audiences and possible funders that his movie willnotmake you smile. Not evenonce. It’s going to be abig boymovie for people who likeviolenceanddarknessand those wallets that attach to your jeans witha chain. That publicity tour continues with the comic book writer and artist stopping by Nerdist tosay this:
“There’s no joy. There’s gonna be no fun lines in it, and it’s just gonna be this dark, ugly two hours worth of movie, which is essentially what a lot of supernatural/horror movies are anyway. There’s not a lot of funny in them. And that seems to be a weird hurdle for a lot of people in this city to get over because they sort of go into a superhero/Avengers default all the time.”
The thing here is that I think what McFarlane is trying to sell is getting muddled with the fact his brain is stuck in the x-treme 1990’s comic book scene where everyone for some reason had a flaming sword and spines were drawn anatomically incorrect by law. Saying your superhero movie is different from an MCU film, rated R, more horror than action, anddark? Enticing!Deadpoolalready proved that there’s an audience for R-rated comic book storytelling and there’s a hole right now in the edgier parts of that world. But don’t emphasize that you’re not gonna' have a good time. EvenBatman vs. SupermanhadJesse EisenbergdoingJared LetoJoker impression while wearingNick Nolte’s hair fromAng Lee’s Hulk. Gotta' find the joysomewhere.
