The numerous failures and lies ofJason Alexander’s George Costanza make up for many of the classicSeinfeldepisodes we all keep watching over and over again. Conning his way into a date withMarisa Tomei, his adventures as Art Vandelay, and of course,accidentally killing his wife-to-bewith cheap envelopes for their wedding invitations. There was even an episode ofSeinfelddedicated to chronicling his habitual failings in Season 8, in which George compares his life to that of a shipwreck survivor, ultimately determining that his own life has been more tragic. However, there is one particular lowlight that stands out the most, in its fraudulence, and in just how funny it is. The Season 5 episode “The Marine Biologist” is Costanza at his most tragic, and Jason Alexanderat his funniest.
What Makes “The Marine Biologist” Such an Iconic George Episode?
The now-iconicSeinfeldepisodefollows George lying his way through life as a marine biologist, when suddenly he must act, and save a beached whale. Now, a lot of outlandish things have happened onSeinfeld.Large balls of oil have been dropped out of windows, holidays have been invented, and much, much more. But generally speaking, a lot of the best stuff with George always followed very grounded, interpersonal issues. Typically, we see George commit some social faux pas, and his plot lines follow that to a logical conclusion, usually him making the situation even worse. This makes a lot of sense considering George is famously based on series creatorLarry David, who would follow similar plots and themes inCurb Your Enthusiasm. A classic George episode would be something like the Season 6 episode “The Gymnast,” where George eats an éclair out of the garbage (therefore graduating from “man to bum” as Jerry put it), and the ramifications that had with his girlfriend. Most of the crazy shenanigans on the show usually revolve around Kramer, not George.
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This episode is an exception toSeinfeldnorms in many ways. Beyond George being placed in such a weird situation, it is also a rare time when George does not lie to anyone, at least not initially. Diane (Rosalind Allen), an old college classmate of George and Jerry, only thinks George is a marine biologist because Jerry said that, not George. This leads to not only one of the greatest lines inSeinfeldhistory, “You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect,” but also to a genuine change in the feeling the audience gets for George’s character. He is now on the back foot, and that opens up a new way of performing for Alexander. When George lies, it’s even funnier than usual because, for once, he really does not want to, and this time isn’t his fault.
George Costanza Delivers an Epic Monologue on ‘Seinfeld’
“The Marine Biologist” is most known for the monologue delivered by George in the final scene of the episode. We last saw him walking on the beach with Diane, when all of a sudden, they encounter a beached whale, and an off-screen voice (which was done by Larry David), yells “Is anyone here a marine biologist?” After being thoroughly convinced by the crowd and Diane, George ventures out toward the whale. As he sits in the diner afterward, surrounded by Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine, he begins to tell his story. He begins with “The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.” The monologue is classic George. Alexander uses his physicality and voice to his usual excellent level and delivers quite possibly the best single scene in any episode of the show. When he reveals that golf ball to the camera, the crowd goes absolutely berserk in a way that could never be rehearsed. They were genuinely losing it, and who could blame them?
However, when you really start to think about it, the scene becomes even funnier. George genuinely succeeds at something for once in his life, and it was all because of a lie he didn’t tell. And when, for once, he is honest about this lie, that is when the failure happens. He had his movie moment, “It was like Rocky 1,” and it gets screwed up, and it wasn’t even his fault. The tragedy of George is on full display here. The origins of the monologue are quite interesting as well. This episode was written byRon HaugeandCharlie Rubin, who also wrote “The Fusilli Jerry,” the only other episode they ever wrote for the show. The monologue was actually alast-minute addition by David and Seinfeld, and the take we see in the episode was the first and only take Alexander performed. This was rare forSeinfeld,and a second thought by any of the people involved would have deprived us of one of the funniest moments in television history. Luckily, that did not happen, and we got to see magic.
George Costanza is one of the most beloved characters in the history of television, and for very good reason. He is impeccably written, always consistent,and brilliantly performed by Jason Alexander.Seinfeldalways went by the mantra of “no hugging, no learning.” The characters continually repeat themselves, and it still never gets old. George is the greatest example of this. Every failure manages to be as funny as the last one.George has always been relatable, but in the way that a character isn’t really supposed to be. He’s neurotic, a slob, he is unemployed and lives with his parents. He has few redeeming qualities, but that has never stopped him. He isSeinfeld’sWile E. Coyote, always chasing The Roadrunner(Happiness, Success, Love, etc.), but never catching anything. He is doomed to this fate, and that is really the tragedy of Costanza. “The Marine Biologist” exemplifies that tragedy, and shows just how funny it can be. The enduring success ofSeinfeldhas many factors, but George has always been the heart and soul of the show. If you want to startSeinfeldsomewhere, “The Marine Biologist” is the show at its absolute best.
